The focus now is on “White privilege”.

Sure, that’s the problem.

We have a brand spanking new problem to focus on, which of course will keep us from focusing on the real issues in the black community.

Yes, there are still racists in our world.
Shock.

Yes, the US had slavery a hundred and fifty years ago, just like every other continent in the world at that time.
Some still have slavery today, and some would argue that ALL still do.

We keep talking about the race thing the completely wrong way.

Here is what I am offering to the black community:
Take back control.

How do you do that?
By not allowing yourself to play the victim for ANYONE.
When we allow ourselves to play the victim, we give up all accountability, and thus we give up all our personal power.
We give up our control.
By having the black community constantly point to “white privilege” and never look inward, the black community is constantly focused on something they can never control.

Heck, “white privilege” seems to be the latest thing. I don’t remember even hearing about it just a few years ago.
So now we focus on this new thing, without focusing on things we can control.

The culture has accepted a very scary attitude about race relations that has made discussing issues honestly politically incorrect.
This has relegated the problem to a sore scab that can never be expected to heal.

Here is what black folks have control over: Themselves, which is exactly what everyone else has control over.
We are not able to control others, only ourselves.
The worst things that happen in humanity happen when some group tries to control another group.

The effort to control others is the real root of all evil.
Think slavery, the holocaust, totalitarianism, fascism, and bad laws like prohibition.
These disasters happened when some humans decided to try to control other humans.
That never ends well.

The victim card is a self regulating trap.

Whenever something goes wrong in our lives, we can blame our condition on something other than ourselves using the victim card.
This keeps us from taking control. We give all of our control to the very thing we blame for our condition.
Ironic.
Especially when that condition is some newly made up thing, that did not even exist just a couple of years ago.

Take control.
Take authority.
You are in charge of you, and all the complaining in the world is never going to put you in charge of anyone else.

We have created an entire generation with an excuse at the ready.
Racism, sexism, my favorite “phobia” (xenophobia, homophobia etc.), attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, addictions of every kind, our upbringing, our income, our education. The list is literally endless, with new excuses provided as needed, like “white privilege” and “the patriarchy”.
And we have trained a generation (or two) to find excuses.
The problem is, those excuses undermine our personal power, and leave us willing to accept our poor lot in life, without ever trying to improve it.
After all, how can we be expected to improve something when we have no control?

An angry cycle.

No wonder we seem to be in such a constant state of anger.

Once we buy into our favorite excuse, our lens to the world finds all kinds of obvious evidence to support our favorite excuse. Any time something does not go our way, we will be able to find an interloper to blame, and thus we never have to look inside and see what we might be able to actually do to make our situation better.

The cycle continues, and the anger grows.

This is no way to live.

The cycle creates group think, political correctness, new bigotries and violence.

Uggh.

When someone has the nerve to try to break out of the cycle of excuses and lack of personal accountability, they become a very real threat to our identity.
We are triggered.

The little tummy monster

I am pretty sure some folks stopped reading this some time ago because they allowed the little tummy monster we all have in our gut to take control. They have learned to feed that tummy monster, rather than control the tummy monster.

In the excuses culture, the tummy monster is righteous indignation. It is not only acceptable to act out, it is a righteous act. This has led to ridiculous things like folks claiming to be fighting fascists, while using fascist methods.

Those who dare to speak out against the excuses culture are vilified (some might claim I am a fascist).
“Don’t you DARE blame the victim”.
“Oreo”.
“You have NO IDEA what it is like to be (fill in your favorite group)”.
Right.

The very folks that claim to support an enlightened view of humanity suddenly separate everyone based on their politically correct bigotry.
What a mess.

I am sure that plenty of folks who read this, particularly any who don’t know me, will be “triggered”, and let that feeling in their gut build up to a nice solid hatred.
Why?
Because this has become a source of our identity.
Talking about it feels like it is undermining our very being.
That does not feel good.
Especially when you add the idea of admitting that (gasp), we may have actually been…. Wrong.
We HATE being wrong.
More than anything.
And we will fight with tooth and nail anyone who claims such a thing.
And we will fight the truth if it ever hints that we may have been, gulp, wrong.
Truth feels really bad when we are bound by lies and have a pride in lies that keep us from taking control of our lives and doing the hard work to improve.

And so, we feed the tummy monster in our gut.
And we feed the new bigotries.
And we feed the old bigotries.
And we grow angrier.
And we extend our anger.
And we justify our hate.
And grow new bigotries where they have never been before.
And we give up all accountability,
and thus all personal power.
All this while stewing in a life situation over which we could take control.

Bigotry begets bigotry.
Anger feeds anger.
Hatred kills.
First our hearts, and then, when left to fester, others.
Literally.

There is a much better way.

But that way requires things we are no longer valuing as a culture.
Truth. Work. Humility. Patience.

We could decide to never give anyone else control of our lives again.
To do that, one must ignore the slights, perceived and real.
I guarantee you that most of the slights are simply perceived.
They are not real.

We have been indoctrinated into finding slights everywhere.

I got into the auto repair business several years ago.
One week after taking over the shop, my biggest client came to my shop manager and demanded that I buy him a personal computer to keep his business.
His company represented 15% of the total business at the time.
I could never do such an unethical thing as bribe someone for business, so I declined.
He took his business elsewhere, which really hurt our new business venture.

Now, if I was a woman, I would KNOW for a FACT that he did that because I was a woman.
If I was black I would KNOW he did that because I was black.
If I was a Hispanic woman, well, you know…
This new slight then confirms the unfair nature of things.
And the list of group identities goes on and on. We make new ones every day.

But as a group member, as much as I would have KNOWN that he did this because of my being a member my group, it is simply not TRUE.
He did it because he was taking advantage of his position, period.

The greatest “white male privilege” that I have is not having the excuse or the confusion.
I can see the truth, accept it, and move on without feeling victimized because of my elected group identity. (Thought: You could elect to be in a bigger group like ‘humanity).
The problem is his problem.
Sure, I have to take action to save the company, but in no way do I own his action.
I did what I know is right, and I will have to work a little harder to clean up a mess given to me by someone else trying to take advantage of me.
Big surprise.
Welcome to humanity.

I could have elected to take a victim mentality.

But here is where the victim mentality leads.
If I am the victim, it is not my fault that the company failed, it is that guy’s fault.
No jury in our land would convict me.
I was victimized and there was nothing I could have done.

But once again, that is simply not true.
I could do something.
I could get to work, find new clients, and make things happen.
That would be hard to do if I knew in my heart that the whole world was against me.
Why even try?

With the victim mentality, I lay down and die.
My company fails.
My employees are out of work, and all the awesome stuff we like to do for our customers is gone.

There is literally no upside to playing the victim.
None.

Please, drop the victim mentality.
There is far less of your preferred ism or phobia than you have been led to believe.
Is it out there? Sure it is. But don’t let those jerks stop you.
You are a human, the most amazing thing we have ever discovered in all the universe is a human, and you are one.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t do something.
Don’t allow yourself to roll over.
Make your life what you want it to be.
Stay in truth, but allow no excuses.
What do you have to lose?
Anger?
Bitterness?
Hate?
Fear?
Failure?
Depression?
Bigotry?

Get out of the trap of being a victim.

Take control of yourself, and your life.
You will have more help than you expect.
None of this is easy, but we were not made for easy.
I am not offering anything that is easy.
Embrace the challenge.
Take control.
Being in control means accountability, responsibility, and some rough times.
But, you can.

You are after all, a human.
And humans are amazing.